Yesterday's Post in the Eyes of a (Semi) Sane Person

Editor's Note: This morning, I woke up to a lovely surprise. My best friend and Parisian soul sister (the one who moved to Paris to accompany a man, and not to escape from one) had decided to share her own commentary on yesterday's Bestie saga. Without further ado, here is her very own Eyewitness Report of what went down when Bestie attended my 26th birthday for exactly twenty minutes, as well as a mini-manifesto for the sorry state of mankind. Please note that this woman is married (and not too badly, if I may say so myself), so those of you looking to acquire some proper life wisdom should listen up! 

On December of last year I had a revelation: I was one lucky, lucky girl. Thank you, obscure and borderline retarded men MK meets.

Mr. Hunk for the Month of December 2012 was a real gem. He arrived to a slightly overcrowded and extremely overheated Parisian bar wearing a very "living in an igloo on top of an ice cap in the North Pole" down bubble jacket. As he was being introduced to the sweaty occupants of the table (who had actually bothered to show up on time), I noticed something rather peculiar... He hadn't attempted to unzip, let alone remove, said jacket. I assumed the man had an iron deficiency and decided not to judge him immediately.. That is, until he stood up ten minutes into his arrival to pronounced that he must leave urgently, as the surroundings were way too warm for his comfort.

My initial thoughts were along the lines of the following: "Well, hallelujah! This bland piece of French toast actually has a sense of humor, and here I was, beginning to get worried that this is actually his personality!" But the man (and I use the term "man" loosely here) proceeded exit the premises, leaving me dumbfounded and speechless. What’s worse is that nobody deemed it necessary to remark on the absurdity of what had just occurred. I felt like I was living in the fucking Twighlight Zone! Surely I would wake up at any moment! 

But, sadly, I can report that all of these events really did transpire as mentioned, making me rightfully fear for all present and future generations of single women.